you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
