you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
