I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
