He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
