I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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