if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
