morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
