Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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