no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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