How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
