one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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