no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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