Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
