Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
