It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
