so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
