So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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