Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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