turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
