Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
