I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
