girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm too high and old for this...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
