I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize