i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
