I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize