ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
