we have officially lost it.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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