Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
