I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
