Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I understand Curling. That high.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
