i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
