6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
