We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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