I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Alive.
So much puke
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
