I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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