you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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