Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
