hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
