I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
