Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
