we have officially lost it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
