trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
