so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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