Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
