I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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