You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
