how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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