Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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