No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
