I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
