Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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