Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
