that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
