I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
