you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize