we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
