stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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