I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
