Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
