God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
