3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Bring me that man meat
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
