Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
