Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
