Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
