i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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