Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
