saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
