Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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