He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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